For the last few weeks, I've been thinking about returning to Church. It's a big step as I've not attended in almost a year, and I've been questioning everything. Do I believe in God. Do I believe in a God that takes attendance. Do I believe in a God who lets so much destruction and hate happen in his name. Or even not in his name! Why exactly do bad things happen to those who do good and why does it seem that the bad go unpunished? Over the last year, I've been strengthening myself. I was looking inward and I have started to come to realise that when I was trying to gain a sense of control over my life, to strengthen and improve my mental health, and looking for things I could control over things that I had no control over, that I pulled away from religion. It wasn't that religion was to blame, or even that religion would have solved the issues, I just didn't have the capacity to be the person that everyone needed me to be whilst desperately trying to hold
